Post-Valentine's Day Blahs

Well, another exciting Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I guess that means that candy is half-price at the drugstore today so if you’re feeling glum you can go stuff your face. :) I hope your Valentine’s Day was better than mine. This was my first official single Valentine’s Day (notice that the shorthand for Valentine’s Day is VD?) in six or seven years. I have been alone on some of those days but it was because my intended was working outside the country. This year I had no comforting excuse. I was just alone. No flowers or candy showed up at the door. I had to go buy my own brownies to get a chocolate-induced high.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d mention an interesting story I saw online the other day: Kisses unleash chemicals that ease stress levels

"Chemistry look what you've done to me," Donna Summer crooned in Science of Love, and so, it seems, she was right. Just in time for Valentine's Day, a panel of scientists examined the mystery of what happens when hearts throb and lips lock. Kissing, it turns out, unleashes chemicals that ease stress hormones in both sexes and encourage bonding in men, though not so much in women....

In an experiment, Hill explained, pairs of heterosexual college students who kissed for 15 minutes while listening to music experienced significant changes in their levels of the chemicals oxytocin, which affects pair bonding, and cortisol, which is associated with stress. Their blood and saliva levels of the chemicals were compared before and after the kiss.

Both men and women had a decline in cortisol after smooching, an indication their stress levels declined.

For men, oxytocin levels increased, indicating more interest in bonding, while oxytocin levels went down in women. "This was a surprise," Hill said.

In a test group that merely held hands, chemical changes were similar, but much less pronounced, she said.

Cool. So, kissing leads to men being more interested in bonding? I never would have guessed that. From my experience, I have always thought that women were more interested in kissing than men were. With a couple of rare exceptions, most men seem to me to act like kissing is a toll both and they have to rush through it to get somewhere fast.

That was kind of one of my complaints with my recent ex. He started off being very romantic and the kissing was good. But it wasn’t long before the kissing went out the window. There was still lots of sex, but I like more than that. I like some personal attention. I like romance. I like KISSING. By the end I couldn’t even get him to hold hands anymore. I think you really can judge the state of a relationship by little things like that. It shouldn’t all be about sex. There’s a lot more to intimacy than just that. But it’s hard to communicate that information to someone who’s not getting what you’re talking about.

There’s such a fine line when you talk to someone about personal things. You don’t want to tell them, “Hey! I don’t like what you’re doing!” Because, obviously, you care about them. But you want to have your own needs met, too. It’s not easy.

Clearly I have post-Valentine’s Day blahs. Maybe Somewhere In Time will be on TV again today and I can eat some more brownies to cheer myself up.