The Kitchen

You know, I once heard or read something to the effect that in your dreams your house represents your sense of self. If there’s a house in your dreams, that’s how you view yourself. If the house is grand and beautiful you’re probably feeling good about yourself. If the house is run down and dilapidated maybe your self-esteem isn’t so good. And so on. If your house is swept away by a flood . . . you get the picture. So, I was walking around my kitchen tonight noticing that it was an organized mess. There are “groupings” of things on the counter -- herbs and bottles of stuff in this corner. A pile of magazines and books over in that corner. Um, some boxes and things on that counter. Some dishes that I keep washing and reusing next to the sink. Vitamin bottles for the dogs piled up on the microwave (probably not a good place for them). Oh, and just lots of other stuff. And it occurred to me that if my house represents my sense of self that I’m probably in a lot of trouble. What in the world does my house say about my brain??? Is my mind as cluttered as my kitchen? Do I have as much useless stuff in my head as I do on my counters? And, I wonder if there are expiration dates on the things in my head?

I may be cluttered but I am a good cook. It’s one of my saving graces. It’s nice the way that works out -- that even though we have failings we also have positive qualities. Assuming I can find things in my kitchen I can actually prepare good meals. I also like to be creative and adventurous when I cook. So much so that sometimes people are afraid to eat what I cook. Not because it’s not good or it doesn’t turn out well but because I don’t like to tell them what’s in the food I cook. I don’t like to tell people what I put in food because I like for them to try it first and then tell me if they like it. I don’t like to prejudice them by telling them what’s in it. But then they get the wrong impression and assume that I put something terrible in it and they don’t want to eat it. Just because I tend to not follow recipes they think I do odd things to food. Sometimes I do follow recipes, at least the first time I make something, but I think food usually tastes better when I follow my own hunches about it. Or, what I really prefer to do is read several recipes for making something and take little bits from each of them. For instance, if I’m going to make an apple pie I might read a dozen recipes. None of them will be exactly alike. So I may try making the pie a couple of different ways to see what I like. Then I may try coming up with my own recipe for it by combining some of the recipes. I usually end up with something that is much better than I started with. But I don’t want to tell anyone exactly what I’ve done. I want them to eat some of the pie and tell me what they think about it. Unfortunately, that seems to make them suspicious. I can’t win. Who wants to give away their cooking secrets? I don’t.

Okay. In the interest of full disclosure, sometimes I do put odd things in food. I sometimes think unusual things go together that other people may not think of. I have put bananas in chocolate cakes. I have put mayonnaise in chocolate cakes. And they were both tremendous successes. I put apples in quiches. I once made chocolate brownies with raspberry filling and hazelnuts -- which to me sounded like it should go together. Admittedly, I don’t like raspberries or hazelnuts, but all the recipes I read made it sound like those flavors would work together. And the person I made the brownies for liked all those things. But when I gave him the brownies (and told him what was in them), he wouldn’t eat them. He ended up feeding them to a dog when I wasn’t around. I still think those brownies should work. I think he was being irrational.

I like making bread, too, but it’s something I have to be in the mood to do. It’s kind of an all-day procedure. I don’t use a bread machine -- what’s the point of that? The fun part of making bread is all the beating and kneading. You can get your angers and frustrations out when you beat up the dough.

Even though I spend the majority of my time working at the computer I think the kitchen is probably the heart and soul of my home. It feels right that it should be that way, sort of a connection with generations before. I’m a sucker for the whole home and hearth life.