My Cavewoman Moment

Oh, the shame. I am so ashamed of myself. I was in the grocery store this morning -- where else is there to go on a rainy Saturday morning? I was zipping around the aisles, happy that I had my bills paid and still had money for something as frivolous as food. I was nearly through shopping when I came up to the buggies near the front where the store puts out things on clearance that they want to get rid of. I always stop to see what they have here. I’ve picked up some great things in the past -- Starbuck’s coffee (I cleaned them out that day), cans of tripe for the dogs, weird salad dressings. Today I immediately noticed that they had a couple of bags of dog food. Now, I consider myself a dog food connoisseur. I spend a lot of time reading and writing about dog foods and their ingredients. So, when I saw these two bags of Newman’s Own Organic Dog Food I was all aquiver. I’ve never bought this food before but I’ve read lots of great things about it. Actually, I don’t even know why it was in the store because I’m pretty sure that my grocery store doesn’t carry it or sell it. But there it was and I pounced on it.

I picked up a bag and the original price was $20. Ouch. But I kept looking until I found the marked down price. $3. THREE DOLLARS! Oh, yeah. And it said that it was for active and senior dogs. That was exactly what I had. So I was greedily putting the bag in my cart and reaching for the second bag when a woman picked it up practically out of my hands. I’m sure my mouth fell open. I was beside myself with vexation. “Oh, were you going to get both bags,” she said. I struggled for a moment. Should I bluntly tell the truth or be polite? Finally, about 200 years of my family living in the South rose up and beat me over the head. “Oh, no. That’s okay. Go ahead.” I said, very primly. And I wheeled quickly away. I was totally steamed!

I jerked my buggy up and down aisles to finish shopping and I kept thinking about that dog food and the nerve of that woman virtually stealing it from me! How rude. Well, of course I was going to get both bags. Anyone could see that. That’s why she sidled in and picked up the food when my head was turned. But I decided to go back and see if the food was still there. So, I turned the corner and looked. There it was! There was my organic dog food. Joy! Happiness! And then I felt like a total bitch. Lord, I was trying to hoard dog food. I had probably been a complete churl to the poor woman. I had been acting like some kind of cavewoman fighting over food. What was even worse, that woman seemed to have better manners than I did since she put the food back.

I guess this goes to show that people can act irrationally about just about anything. I don’t even feed my dogs organic food but when it came to getting a good bargain on something I behaved terribly. I think I acted as badly as those women you see in videos who trample each other trying to get a wedding dress on sale.

To top it all off, I was thinking about the healthy dog food when I was checking out and asking the checkout lady to get a carton of cigarettes for me. Yeah, I want my dogs to eat healthy but I don’t seem to give a damn about my own health. How’s that for irony?