...but I can't sleep.

I think it's just one of those situations where too many thoughts are racing through your mind at full speed.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Do I like where I am professionally? Do I like where I stand as far as my education is concerned? Where is this blog going, and is it pointless?
The answers are:
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
As far as my job goes, at the rate the economy is going (yes, I know you're sick of hearing about it/talking about it, as am I, trust me) I'm glad to have a job that is still going successfully and appears to have a future throughout the rough months/years that lie ahead. Did I think 10 years ago I would be doing this job? No. If you would have told me I would still be doing this job 10 years ago, would I have shot myself and gotten it over with? Yes. But looking at the situation as a whole, it's really not that bad. I like the people I work with and work for, for starters, and that's more than many can say about their jobs altogether.
I wish I would've gotten a Bachelor's in something slightly more useful to the general public. But it's something I enjoy, and for some reason, people seem marginally impressed when you mention you have a B.A. in English Literature and Composition, (much less your ability to tolerate the public school system long enough to attain a teaching license) regardless of its value in the workplace.
Which brings me to the blog. Overall, I think it's a good idea. It'll be more fun now that I have others joining in... and others seem ready and willing to write. And I think it's a good outlet.
So, I suppose only time will tell how things end up in all three areas. I'll still continue to think too much (which I shouldn't) and fail to get sleep (which I desperately need.)
January's over. 11/12 more of 2009 to go, if I can just hang in there.

Two more join the party and I'm tired...

First and foremost, I'd like to introduce two new party members: Poet Guy and Mary. They're both great individuals and have much to contribute to the blog.
More tomorrow. It's been a hell of a day. I'm tired and all I really want to do is read in bed at the moment. Work blows.
But, I will leave you with yet another youtube video clip from a "show" that I find rather interesting. I'm not saying it's how I feel at the moment, but I'm not not saying it, either.
Take care, and until next time.

The Futility of Cleaning

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to keep things nice?  I attribute this to entropy -- the idea that nature tends to go from order to disorder.  Or, that things fall apart.  Or, that generally, once something enters my home, it's only a matter of time before it gets dirty or broken.  This may be partially due to the fact that I have five dogs, but those of you with kids may be able to relate, too.

My life was very orderly before dogs.  I lived alone with a cat.  Everything was always neat and tidy unless the cat got angry with me about something.  One time I was gone overnight and I came home to find that my cat had climbed my living room drapes and ridden them like a rodeo rider, then used them to take a wild ride to the floor.  They were ripped right off the curtain rod.  Another time I came home and my cat was angry at me and he had shredded a roll of paper towels all through the house.  He didn't believe in hiding his feelings.

I was compulsively neat at that time.  I cleaned up every tiny speck of dirt just when I saw it.  I vacuumed religiously.  I cleaned and dusted regularly.  It was just me and the cat -- we didn't make much mess and he didn't go outside.  There wasn't much to do but I worked hard to keep things looking wonderful.  All of my furniture was new and I was very proud of my home.

But somewhere along the way I got a dog.  First one.  Then two.  Next thing you knew, I had eight.  I did rescue and kept one or two.  I bred a couple of litters and kept a couple.  Before I knew what was happening, I was planning my whole house around managing the dogs.  I was now vacuuming dog hair and washing drool off the walls.  I used to be very strict with my cat about not scratching on furniture or misbehaving.  Now I was trying to keep dogs from chewing on table legs and scratching on doors.  No matter what I did, I couldn't keep up.  I had to start making concessions.  My house was never going to be as neat and clean as it used to be.  For my own sanity, I had to stop trying to be a perfectionist.

That's where I am today.  Of course, I have taken it to whole new depths.  I have five dogs now and I am a terrible housekeeper.  My house must look like chaos to other people.  I was engaged for a while -- to someone who is a compulsive cleaner.  LOL  He's outrageously neat.  He has OCD and I think one of the things that finally broke us up was the dog hair.  We still keep in touch.  If he texts me and I ask him what he's doing the answer is always, "Cleaning.  He lives alone.  His place is small and everything is brand new.  But he cleans every single day.  There were times when we were together that I could hug him and I could see him cringe or pull away because he thought I had dog hair on me.  It's possible I may have, but some of it was imaginary dog hair, too.  He was really weird about things like that if he was wearing black.  He virtually stopped wearing black when he was at my house because he was afraid of the dog hair.

It didn't help things when the dogs would chew on his things or eat his stuff.  It didn't matter how many times I told him not to leave sunglasses, cameras or shoes where they could get them, he wouldn't put them away.  And, dogs will be dogs.

So, I guess I'm a little sensitive about my house and my housekeeping skills in general.  The worse I feel about it, the less I feel like changing.  Besides, I am a much happier person now, with the dogs in my life and a messy house, than I was when I was alone with an ultra-clean house.  The disorder doesn't really bother me.  I just hate that it has interfered with relationships.

To those of you just now joining us...

Please welcome the second member of my team, eshever. She is a long-time friend and welcome addition to the blog. Please welcome her and look forward to one or two more additions in the future. :_

Hello!

Okay, here I am on my friend J-Matt's blog.  When he said it was about "senseless irony," well, how can you resist something like that?

I'm not precisely into games the way he is, or anime (or listening to Japanese music) but I have a few passions of my own.  I really like science fiction and I love the show Lost.  It's very likely that I might feel an irresistible urge to reel off a few sentences on those subjects.

But right now it's Friday night and there are some things on TV I don't want to miss.  Is it too soon to confess that I watch Ghost Whisperer?  LOL  Okay, don't give up on me yet.  Talk to you later.

The Song of the Count

For those of you who have yet to see it... here it is in all its greatness... The Song of the Count... By Lemon Demon...

Final Fantasy IV revisited: I know, I'm late.

Yeah, so I've always been a true fan of the Final Fantasy series (in addition to other RPGs) and one of my favorites has always been Final Fantasy IV (II in the US upon original release on the SNES.) I guess it's my favorite because it was my first true taste if the series. I had played Final Fantasy Mystic Quest prior, which I grudgingly admit, opened my eyes to the existence of the series. But, it was not what made me fall in love. It was the twists and turns in the story that Cecil and his comrades experienced in Final Fantasy IV that made me fall in love.
First of all, let me say I love all the characters. (Yes, even that treacherous betrayer Kain. I mean, c'mon, his name is Kain. Did you expect anything else from him?) My favorite characters, as with most Final Fantasy, fall with the mages. The girl-crazy Palom... the over-sensible-for-her-young-age Porom, the 6-year-old turned big bosomed green-haired beauty Rydia, and the calm and caring Rosa. Yeah, Fusoya and Tellah fall into this category, but they were rather minor in my mind. (However, I do call people "spoony bards" on occasion.)
So, needless to say, when I heard that Square was re-releasing Final Fantasy IV for the DS, I was considerably skeptical. Considering the fact that I do not own a DS, it took me a while to even play it (I borrowed a friends' DS who never uses hers. Thanks, Rachel.) From the moment I started it, my skepticism gradually melted away.
This isn't just a simple port. This is a total remake. Voices, graphics, spells, the works. Everything is brought to the table to bring a classic of the 90's up to spec for today's standards. I only have one word to say. Awesome.
That doesn't mean it doesn't have its drawbacks.
I was taken aback at first by the "cartoon-y-ness" of the character designs. But, over time, they become endearing. (although, I really don't see how Rydia stays warm.)
Some of the heart-wrenching scenes brought to 3D and fully voiced really added a new level of depth for me. Of course, the scene that most affected me as a child playing this game for the first time was the "death" of Palom and Porom in Baron castle. You don't often see kids so selfless that they's sacrifice their lives to save a paladin, old sage, monk, and engineer.

And I'm not sure how much I like "Whyt," Rydia's new personal summon, whom you play math games and such with. It seemed like a cheap attempt to utilize the touch screen. That's another thing. The touch screen? Forget about it. This game WAS NOT designed for use with it. I mean, yeah, you can navigate your character across maps with it, but it's infinitely easier to just use the control pad. But for those die-hard Final Fantasy fans, you won't care one way or the other. You'll just be happy to see your favorite battles fought in full 3-D.
I'd have to give this game a 9.5 out of 10. They did a wonderful job with redesigning, if only they could have integrated the touch screen more, I would have no qualms with a 10. But it is the DS.

And thus, it begins...

Okay, so I have been thinking of doing this for quite a while now. Everyone else has a blog, but I never created one. I dunno why, maybe it was sheer laziness.
I'm not entirely sure which angle I shall take with this particular blog. Hopefully people will read it. We'll see.
First true post soon.